Ask the Rabbi...
Rabbi Davis answers your questions. If you would like to ask a question of your own please send an e-mail to Rabbi Davis.

Can one still bless the children on Friday night after they have reached bar/batmitzvah age?

Definitely! And after they are married! When we have a family get-together, my father blesses all his sons, daughters-in-law and grandchildren! To which my mother answers amen!

Why is the wedding ring placed on the index finger of the right hand?

There are various reasons suggested for this custom: At the time when the custom first arose, women wore rings on that finger; the index finger is the most prominent and used and there is a more obscure reason which states that as the groom faces his bride and counts from his right to the seventh finger, the one opposite will be the bride index finger. and we know that the number 7 features prominently at a wedding.

Is it acceptable to make up a minyan more than once for the same service?

Yes it is. They should join in responses to kaddish and kedushah, and Aleynu. But in a minyan of 10 people, only 4 are allowed who have previously davened that service.

Why is it acceptable for non Jew's to carry out certain tasks on Shabbat on behalf of orthodox Jews when the commandment specifically includes 'thy manservant' in the prohibition of work on Shabbat?

To ask a non-Jew to perform non-permitted tasks on Shabbat, is not the same as asking your servant, who is seen as an extension of you. However, asking a non-Jew on Shabbat to perform forbidden tasks is prohibited by the Rabbis. There are certain ways around the prohibition, but it is not a straightforward matter, and volumes have been written about it.

As it is an important Jewish principle to avoid embarrassing or humiliating others - is it ever acceptable to tell a 'white lie' to spare someone's feelings?

Yes. On an amusing note, the Talmud stresses that when we go to a wedding, we have an obligation to make the bride and groom happy. The question is then raised, should we say how beautiful the bride looks - even if it is untrue? The answer is 'yes'! If someone spends money on new clothes and asks for your opinion, usually they are fishing for a compliment and little will be served by telling them that you don't like it. So say that you do!

There are several incidents in the Torah when people told lies for the sake of peace - even Hashem Himself on one occasion. When Sarah heard that she was to have a son, she laughed, and mentioned that her husband was an old man! Hashem told Avraham that Sarah had laughed, but said that she had referred to her own old age. The commentators said that Hashem made the change in order to avoid a family row!

All this applies when there is no point whatsoever to tell the truth, it will only create unhappiness. Neither is any harm caused by telling a lie. But, if telling a lie could cause harm, then one has to tell the truth.

Why don't men wear a tallit for afternoon and evening services?

In principle, the mitzvot of tallit and tefillin are all day, with the morning service starting off the day. In practice, when shul finishes, we go about our business, or home and eat. After that time, we don't resume either tallit or tefillin. The custom in Jerusalem on a fast day, is to put on tallit and tefillin at mincha.

Should one attend Yiskor services in the first year of mourning?

One does not say Yizkor during the first year, although many people are clearly unaware of this.

Why is Honey considered kosher, when it is manufactured internally by bees?

This question is a good one, based on the Talmudic maxim that: "what issues from a kosher animal is kosher, and what issues from a non-kosher animal is not". Therefore milk and eggs from non-kosher animals or birds, are not kosher. The only exception is honey. The same passage in the Talmud explains that the reason for this exception is that the honey does not contain any part of the bees body, but is just an exudation of what the bees collect from the blossoms of flowers, etc. (quoted in vol. 1 of 'The Jewish Dietary Laws', by Dayan Dr. I. Grunfeld, page 150).

Is it acceptable for people whose parents are still alive to attend
a levoyah or stone setting?

Customs vary, but the widespread custom today is to attend.

Why are Ashkenazi Jews not allowed to eat rice products at Pesach?

The custom arose in Ashkenazi communities not to eat pulses on Pesach, for fear of confusing with real chametz. Rice is included.

If it is raining heavily on Shabbat, is it best to stay at home on one's own or carry an umbrella so one can participate in the service?

A decent raincoat with a hood or rainhat is also effective! As we know, carrying is one of the forbidden acts on Shabbat, to the extent that we don't even blow the shofar when Rosh Hashanah falls on Shabbat.

Is it appropriate to serve or accept refreshments at a shiva?

Generally, it is preferable not to, not least of which because it almost becomes a party! Some Sefardi groups have a full sit-down meal at a shiva. Every bracha said over food is considered a merit for the deceased.